Michael Cera to Be Awarded Nobel Prize

The Swedish Academy, bequeather of the prestigious Nobel Prize, has recently added a new controversial category in addition to the more traditional awards in Physics, Chemistry, Literature, and the like. The first “reactionary” prize to be revealed, the nascent “Waldonian Penis” award was developed for the sole purpose of awarding it to “child” actor Michael Cera.

On Tuesday, Peter Englund, the reigning Permanent Secretary of the Swedish Academy, gave some insight into the reasoning behind the prize’s nomenclature: “We were watching Arrested Development and Superbad and we realized that Michael Cera, in all of his work, above all other actors, exhibits a strong desire to be ignored, passed over, and generally trivialized as the invisible, non-threatening cherubic high school student. What’s that about? So we decided that we wanted to give him some sort of pity-award, and we thought it only appropriate to name the award after the most elusive thing known to Man. What’s more invisible, better hidden than Waldo? Waldo’s penis, that’s what.”

When asked what he thought about receiving the less-than-coveted Nobel Prize in Waldonian Penis, Michael Cera quickly took the pattern of the wallpaper behind him and disappeared from sight.